We suffer yet another mishap with our Safeway delivery. Safeway tell me in turn, that it isn’t really a hic-cup, merely a cock up, because I have a Mac rather than a PC, although their comment is far more PC than my translation. It has taken me many days to complete the order, always dashing away from the computer to tend to some domestic crisis or other. The lap top has remained permanently open and subject to all kinds of mischief from several different contributors. Nonna’s Mac lesson has meant that use of my laptop has become a free for all. Until recently no-one dared to touch it, but the visual cue of Nonna's usage was noted by one and all. Once seen, the witnesses never forget, because they are quick learners.
I learn that it is unwise to combine on-line shopping, teaching a family game of Scrabble and menu planning.
As a result, my daughter is delighted by the windfall of white flatulent bread, the type that never graces our wholesome home, where whole-meal is de rigeur and enforced with rigour. I also cannot account for the duck sitting in the fridge, since I ordered chicken. I can’t even remember when I last ate duck or how to cook it come to think of it? I can only assume that I hit the wrong button in haste. We now also have enough salted peanuts to see us through to 2010.
Suddenly everyone is hell bent upon sandwich making, self initiated by the visual cue of fluffy white dough. Lashings of peanut butter and jam, slather the kitchen and the children when Nonna appears in the kitchen. “Ooo are we going to feed the ducks?”
“Dah white bread….isn’t it for dah ducks?”
“Not really……it’s for the children……a snack.”
“Wot appened to dah ducks den?”
“Dah ducks? Dah ducks you used to ave?”
“We’ve never kept ducks……or any other fowl for that matter.”
“No……not real ducks………doz other tings?”
“Which other things?”
“Plastic ducks? Bath ducks?”
“Yes! Ooo you used to have hundreds of ducks. Where are they now?”
“You know……..now that they’ve all learned to swim, we don’t need the ducks to entice them into the pool any more…….I gave them to charity.”
“Ooo dats sad…….so are you going to cook it den?”
“How did you know about the duck?”
“Well…….I order it for you…….on dah computer.......make a nice change from chicken don’t you tink?”
Note to self:- save time, cancel the Mac lessons, she’s graduated.
4 hours ago