Thursday, May 21, 2009


I think it’s the changing gears that I find most tricky. Switching between generations, abilities and deficits all at the same time.

“Am I lost?”
“I don’t know? Are you?”
“I am losted my magic wand.”
“Ah well magic it back then.”
“You are joke me?”
“Aha! I be joke you! Ta dah!” he produces the wand from the back of his waistband, complete with flourish.

“Where’s the timer?”
“Which one?”
“The count down one?”
“The one you said I shouldn’t buy because we have too many already?”
“Hmmmmm …….so where is it then?”
“Here. Want do you want it for?”
“To count down.”
“Count down to what exactly?”
“My bid on e-bay.”
“Dare I ask what you’re bidding upon?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“I’ll take that as code for more junk that I don’t want.”
“There are ‘wants’ and ‘needs.’ This is something we need.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Yes dear?”
“What is nucleuses?”
“Nuclei. Plural. Nucleus is one, nuclei for more than one, Latin like cactus, cacti, remember?”
“I am love the latins.”

“But these darned socks are so uncomfortable.”
“Then put on some comfortable ones instead.”
“But I’ve only got pink or frilly.”
“Borrow some of mine….bottom drawer.”
“Here guys……dya want my old socks?”
“Sure. I’m gonna be have dah beautiful feet too.”

“Nonna’s on the phone. She wants to know the name of the guy that gave her the builder’s estimate last June?”

My "daughter" bowls into the kitchen to heap further criticisms upon my chipped shoulder.
“These shoes are ridiculous mum. They’re so uncomfortable. I don’t know why you buy them? Look at them. Cheap rubbish! These one’s squish your toes and those flip flops just dig in.”
“Maybe you should wear your own…..instead.”
“You’ve put me off now. I wanted to ask you something………?”
“No rush.”
“Ah! What’s the opposite of communication?”
“No…..that’s wishful thinking. The opposite of communication is mis-communication but it’s not in the dictionary. Can you believe it?”
“Probably because mis-understanding is so much better.”