I stagger upstairs at the end of the day to flop into bed and snap on the light to read. I reach gingerly across to the teetering tower on my nightstand. If only I could finish the last 20 pages of Bill Bryson, preferably before the end of this life time. I lift the broken spines of several semi lifeless tomes but my brain capacity isn’t up to the challenge. Maybe I could just flick through April’s issue of the Good Food Magazine but it too appears to be adrift. I wonder where I left old Bill? Before I have the chance to determine Bill’s destiny I am suddenly awake. Morning has already arrived as I blunder downstairs for our daily meet and greet, where physical contact is desirable but not always negotiable with my children. As we clunk against kitchen cabinets I notice that the pile of paper next to my lap top is vying for top place in the race for Reem Supremo. There could be any number of half read books buried in that pyre.
I set about breakfast when Nonna appears.
“So are you going to do dat den?”
“Yes, I’ve just started, shouldn’t be too long.”
“No. I mean are you going to do it?”
“Do what?”
“Cook.”
“Oh yes, I’m sure to be cooking today. Ah..... do you mean you’d like a cooked breakfast?” She rolls her eyes in frustration at the dim wit.
“No.”
“No?”
“I mean……are you going to cook dis one?” she asks snapping my rolled up Good Food Magazine against her thigh.
“Ah……that’s where it was.”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing. Which recipe did you fancy then?”
“I don’t know, you are already cook all deez tings. Why do you buy it anyway?”
“Oh, I see….well ……” I am momentarily distracted as she smacks it down on the kitchen counter, in the invisible soggy patch, “actually I haven’t read August’s issue yet, and April is still adrift.”
“Oh right. Well here you are, you can read it now. I enjoyed it very much thank you.”
Now?
Read it now?
What sort of dream world would that be?
I check that the laundry is still with me and not absconded next door, that last night’s dishes await my attention, that mass starvation is imminent as breakfast has been unduly delayed and that their father has already left for work, just in case I lose sight of the prize, as my navigation skills have always been a bit dodgey.
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4 comments:
But the cover advertises "Weeknight Time Savers"! There's your answer . . . isn't it?
A day in the life - right down to the magazine in the "invisible soggy patch!" Thanks for the laugh!
Wow. Reading a magazine. That would be really something. I have one called "Family Fun" that I occasionally get glimpses of, full of great ideas for Martha Stewart to try. All I can do is glimpse at the idea and dream of trying it out.
Sometimes I get a minute to rip up old issues, filing those good ideas into binders that are never glanced at again.
I gave up on the magazines when they attempted a take-over of the dining room some yrs ago.
We're still finding isolated groups holding out for the next coup!
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