Sunday, September 27, 2009

How wonderful to have a built in baby sitter

I arrive back at the house, otherwise known as Fort Knox, from the school run to find the gate and front door wide open. I pause on the driveway, motor running. I tell the children to remain in the car, to listen to their sister and wait until I return. When I return, I shall return with M & M’s for anyone who has managed to remain in the car, because the lowest common denominator usually works. I remove the car keys from the ignition so that when the criminal escapes from the house, he or she will be prevented from abducting my babies. It occurs to me that if there is a mad axe murderer in the house that I may, inadvertently, have given my children false hope. Since I am not armed with a handy ax myself, I pick up the abandoned garden fork instead. What a pity that it hasn’t been washed recently, if ever. Inside I find that the back door is also wide open to the garden. As many as 50 flies are having a party in the mid-air space of my dining room which means that every door has been open for some considerable while. I dart over to Nonna’s room where I find her asleep with a book open on her chest, peaceful. I check every room in the house to ascertain whether or not peace reigns throughout.

It does.

Or rather it doesn’t really. I may as well have a yard sale and dispose of the entire contents of the house, give it all away, hang a neon sign on the open doorway saying ‘muggers and thieves welcome, help yourselves, anytime, open all hours.’ I grab a handful of M & M’s and step out towards the car. En route I find Thatcher, good and faithful hound who thankfully has decided to remain in residence rather that escape as puppies so often do. I march out to the car in the 80 degree heat and reward my good and faithful children. I beam so that they know that there is nothing whatsoever to worry about, even though there really is, it is of no concern to them, at least not for now. The adrenalin rush still courses through me as I hang onto the door frame as my children slather themselves in well deserved chocolate, because they’ve taken a giant collective leap forward. It’s the nature of things, forwards and backwards, swings and roundabouts, one step ahead, several in arrears. My youngest pipes up in-between munches, cheerful and sweaty, “Nonna is bad.”
“Is she? Why is she bad?”
“No what?”
“She isn’t as bad.”
“As bad as whom?”
“As bad as us.”
“You’re not bad. Who told you you were bad?”
“No what?”
“Dah door is being open.”
“I know…….but it’s o.k.”
“Nonna did it.”
“I know but that’s alright. Nonna is allowed to leave the door open…….sometimes.”
“She forgotted.”
“You’re right she did. But that’s o.k., we’ll help her to remember to keep it closed.”
“But she isn’t being bad to go outside.”
“That’s right, no harm in taking a little walk once in a while. It’s probably good for her.”
“Yes, so she’s not bad.”
“Right. Not bad, good.”
“She is good…..gooder…….good to go outside nicely.”
“Hmmm. We can all go out nicely now can’t we?”
“Yes but Nonna goes out nicer,” he struggles with the seat belt and pulls off his T-shirt bathed in sweat as he hops out of the car.
“How?” I watch him make a dash for the house, for the shade, for the cool as he discards his clothes en route and shouts over his shoulder, “coz she ain’t naked.”


Corrie Howe said...

My son also strips when it gets "warm"...anything over 50 degrees Fahrenheit! I'm so glad everything was okay in the house. I take my car keys too. :-)

Niksmom said...

Laughing so hard I nearly had an accident! Oh. My.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Funny boy! Glad Nonna, Thatcher, and the house were okay.

jinksy said...

Glad the only intruders were the flies...

farmwifetwo said...

Glad it was nothing to worry about except for the flies.

Hope all is going well.

Marita said...

Glad it was not more serious. What a lovely boy he is seeing the good side :)

choochoo said...

LOL. Awww, that is so cute. And so damn funny :D

Anonymous said...

Glad to see the late date on this post. Been missing you.

Your conversations with your son are so wonderfully revealing of his thinking, and yours. Truly a result of years of work and relationship - yea, I hear ya, it can reverse in any moment.

But that he understands Nonna staying dressed is good - time for him to adopt the same 'good' behavior? (Perhaps I press too much.)

Hope you are back again soon to tell us how Nonna is. Barbara

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