Saturday, December 27, 2008

Sugar Plum Fairy

Every once in a while I’m tempted to run from the room screaming “why can’t you all leave me alone?” and then I wake up to start another new day.

It is on just such a day that I busy myself with tidiness whilst the children play in the dog park with all other members of the family, barring Nonna. Nonna sits on the couch with her crossword puzzle yelling clues at me, not because I am deaf but because I am a rapidly moving target. In between yells devours piles of candy with glee. The stack of neatly collected candy sits on the tray on the empty seat of the sofa, within easy reach. A foolish error on my part.

As always I dither. It seems inappropriate to advise one’s elders and betters about candy consumption, even if they do happen to be diabetic. On the other hand, quite often Nonna forgets what she has consumed, towit four mugs of espresso in twenty minutes. In other circumstances I would more than welcome her wolfing her grand-children’s candy supplies, as sugar often affects their activity rates, autistic or otherwise.

After more than an hour I have made discernible dent in the mess nor have I managed to contribute usefully to the puzzle completion. On the other hand the pile of candy has disintegrated to a few crumbs.
“Wot about dis one den?” she hollers as she scrumples another wrapper. I sweep past weighed down with boxes of recycling Christmas paper, “hmm?”
“Wot dis say, it is…… ‘American seasonal treat beats the way up?’ Wot you tink den?”
“Er… anogram maybe?”
“I know dat……but wot is dah answer?”
“Let me think about it …….a while.”
As she sucks a finger tip she scribbles on the margin of the paper, “so we ave ‘candy’…….and…… ‘canes.’ Wot you tink den?”
“Hmm.” I remain focused on the tasks at hand, namely tidying up and formulating tonight’s menu before we are deluged with children again. I am in desperate need of more potato recipes as there are still two untouched 10 lb bags of potatoes lolling around the garage in idleness, instead of fuelling my family on the cheap. I hear another wrapper rustle. It catches my eye as it falls to a glint on the carpet between Nonna’s feet. As I reach across to pick it up Nonna’s eyes are upon me above a broad grin, a child caught in the act of mischief, “you worry too much you know. Soon you will be old and lonely, just like me.”
I gulp guilt. I pause and sit back on my hunkers, “aren’t you a bit worried about your sugar levels?” I yell.
“Phiff! No. I don’t worry. I’ll worry when I’m dead.” I know my face furrows. “Don’t look at me like dat!”
“But your test will be high tomorrow and then you’ll be……annoyed.”
“Tests! Phiff! I jus forget to do dah test.”
I roll my eyes, mock despair. I just don’t know what to do with her.
“Aha!” she beams…..I got it……ascendancy!

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